Monday, December 26, 2016

Uplifting Your "Breast" Friends

Uplifting Your "Breast" Friends

  A few years ago the bra enjoyed its 100th birthday.  But according to the majority of women, the garment that is supposed to contain and restrain their mammary glands often leaves them hanging, or substitutes as a medieval compression chamber—particularly for those who are generously endowed.

            More than 800 new bras are designed each yet; yet over 80 percent of women are wearing the wrong size.  How can you tell?

            Do your “puppies” shake like Jell-O when walking or exercising? Do they overhang or under fill the cups? Do you suffer fat back from an industrial strength clasp? Is your bra equipped with shoulder pads for straps? Do you find yourself stuffing and shoving your breast friends into place?

            If you’re attempting to prevent weight shift by shortening the straps you’re creating a seesaw effect. When the back is raised the front droops. A well-fitted bra should act like a suspension bridge, balancing gravity versus uplift.

            Bras have weighed from 10 ounces to 20 pounds. The largest recorded bra was a 48V. About 70 percent of bras designed today are equipped with under-wires. Unless that bra fits properly, it could be a “cutting edge” experience.

            Bullet bras of the 50’s were recently upgraded with metal tips. For the plus-sized woman, these might be considered weapons of mass destruction.

            Bras weren’t designed to “lift and separate.” Your “girlfriends” should only be one inch apart when in residence.

            A bra should be lightweight and comfortable. A well-fitted underwire bra will take up to 90 percent of the breast’s weight from shoulder straps.

            The bra strap is a stabilizer; it should allow the bra wearer to bend, stretch and twist without distributing its precious cargo.

The answer is not in burning your bras or going without one. You will lose elasticity and, without support, you will develop water balloons.

Each of your breast friends is a different size; always fit the fullest one. Try moving vigorously in a sheer bra.  If it isn’t fitted properly your “headlights” may shift and point in two different directions.

Mass-produced undergarments contain fewer parts and come in limited sizes. A store that specializes in custom fittings can put you in a bra designed for your body shape and bust dimensions. It can be an uplifting experience.